Remember This

Would we know that the major chords were sweet,

If there were no minor key?

Would the painter's work be fair to our eyes

Without shade on land or sea?

Would we know the meaning of happiness,

Would we feel that the day was bright,

If we'd never known what it was to grieve,

Nor gazed on the dark of knight?

   Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties~C.H. Spurgeon.

~Streams in the Desert, July 23~

The picture of Mary and Thomas was taken the morning we left the lodge.  We were all a bit sad, but Mary

took it the hardest.  Mom had to leave to drive to Ronan and Mary opened the gate for her.  When I glanced out the window I could see her slowly walking down the driveway.  When I met her at the door, big tears were streaming down her face. It was hard to see Nanna drive away.  They climbed up on the fence  for one last wave and this is where I found them.

I have to say my heart was heavy about leaving too. Our time in Montana had been wonderful and I was going to miss the peace that  I felt.  I know a lot of "hard" waits me at home.  The pain that my children are experiencing while Eric and I are separated wears on their little hearts and it shows.  This is one of the hardest things to watch.  Each one dealing in their own unique way.  I feel so sad when I think about them and their innocence in what is going on.  I want to take it away, fix things so they don't have to go through this time of uncertainty.  I love each one of them so much...my mama heart aches to do something to make this all go away.

And then today I read the above.  Maybe when this horror is all said and done wonderful things will greet us on the other side.  No actually slash the word MAYBE.  God promises over and over in the Bible and especially through stories of his faithfulness to men and women who became great warriors for him that good always is on the other side.  I know God is faithful and loving, that He won't give me more than I can handle and that includes raising up these beautiful little ones He has blessed me with. 

Lately, I have been struck with fear that grabs hold quickly and  keeps me from sleeping and sometime even from accomplishing much.  The "what if's" begin to consume me and I am left numb.  Today I was sharing this with a friend and she told me to declare out loud "Satan get behind me!"  Such a good idea.  She reminded me that God is a god of peace and love, not one that "helps" us to become fearful, numb, break out in a sweat, and unable to sleep.  So...here is to speaking Satan into his proper place and letting God do the encouraging!

Some pictures of beauty from Mom's and my trip to Kalispell...ALL BY OURSELVES, thanks Christian!