Remember This

Would we know that the major chords were sweet,

If there were no minor key?

Would the painter's work be fair to our eyes

Without shade on land or sea?

Would we know the meaning of happiness,

Would we feel that the day was bright,

If we'd never known what it was to grieve,

Nor gazed on the dark of knight?

   Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties~C.H. Spurgeon.

~Streams in the Desert, July 23~

The picture of Mary and Thomas was taken the morning we left the lodge.  We were all a bit sad, but Mary

took it the hardest.  Mom had to leave to drive to Ronan and Mary opened the gate for her.  When I glanced out the window I could see her slowly walking down the driveway.  When I met her at the door, big tears were streaming down her face. It was hard to see Nanna drive away.  They climbed up on the fence  for one last wave and this is where I found them.

I have to say my heart was heavy about leaving too. Our time in Montana had been wonderful and I was going to miss the peace that  I felt.  I know a lot of "hard" waits me at home.  The pain that my children are experiencing while Eric and I are separated wears on their little hearts and it shows.  This is one of the hardest things to watch.  Each one dealing in their own unique way.  I feel so sad when I think about them and their innocence in what is going on.  I want to take it away, fix things so they don't have to go through this time of uncertainty.  I love each one of them so much...my mama heart aches to do something to make this all go away.

And then today I read the above.  Maybe when this horror is all said and done wonderful things will greet us on the other side.  No actually slash the word MAYBE.  God promises over and over in the Bible and especially through stories of his faithfulness to men and women who became great warriors for him that good always is on the other side.  I know God is faithful and loving, that He won't give me more than I can handle and that includes raising up these beautiful little ones He has blessed me with. 

Lately, I have been struck with fear that grabs hold quickly and  keeps me from sleeping and sometime even from accomplishing much.  The "what if's" begin to consume me and I am left numb.  Today I was sharing this with a friend and she told me to declare out loud "Satan get behind me!"  Such a good idea.  She reminded me that God is a god of peace and love, not one that "helps" us to become fearful, numb, break out in a sweat, and unable to sleep.  So...here is to speaking Satan into his proper place and letting God do the encouraging!

Some pictures of beauty from Mom's and my trip to Kalispell...ALL BY OURSELVES, thanks Christian!



Remembering the Blessings During the Trials

"The thief comes only to steal and and kill and destroy;
I have come that they may have LIFE and have it to the full."
John 10:10


I know that the key to pushing through the hard times is looking at the blessings. As life has thrown me some major trials in the last two months, I have completely left my list of 1000 gifts behind. This desert that I am in needs reminding of the good around me. This seems obvious, but Ann Voskamps book "One Thousand Gifts: Dare to LIVE FULLY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE" explains it so well when she says "when I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me".

So here continues my list
#226-240
....the sound of the tea kettle whistling sends me feelings of comfort through and through
....making cranberry tea with Caroline-sharing in her excitement and joy in juicing the lemons and oranges
....girls up on the hill with a friend for HOURS, just being little girls!
....the little red book, Streams in the Desert by Mrs Chas Cowman given to me on my birthday by a dear, thoughtful friend. This one book besides my Bible has been my pipeline of comfort from God
....the words of Andrew Murray "we have a God who delights in the impossibilities"
....being very sore from a hard workout (below 150lbs)
....good friends who comfort me
....1 Thess 5:16-18 claiming these verses now and for always..."be joyful always, pray continually, give THANKS in ALL circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus"
....twins mastering no training wheels one day apart, Caroline was not going to be out done by Thomas. Pure joy to watch there joy as they went around and around the driveway!
....making it through Thanksgiving day~I love my kids so much
....a few hours to myself, in my house to clean, put things away, and decorate a bit for Christmas
....red vintage tablecloth, freshly ironed and put on the table in the family room, I see it everytime I walk to the front of the house. Thank you mom for giving me a pop of red to add to the Christmas spirit
....a brother who cares
....kids who tackle a project as a team (lovely job of cleaning the bird cage out, they made it look like new!)
....Ephesians 3:20

November 10 devotion from Streams in the Desert
"....it behooves thee, therefore, to rely with confidence upon the Word of God. And though He delayeth His help, and the evil seemeth to grow worse and worse, be not weak, but rather strong, and rejoice, since the most glorious promises of God are genereally fulfilled in such a wondrous manner that He steps forth to save us at a time when there is the least appearance of it."

Huntington Library

We enjoyed a beautiful day at Huntington Library with family, celebrating Grammy's and Baby Kristen's Birthdays. As always the cousins had lots of fun together. The time spent walking through the amazing gardens was wonderful. We especially loved the Children's Garden which seemed magical with it's secret hedges, tunnels, fountains, and towers. The other mystical feature....mist coming out of bushes and hedges!


















#41....Garlic, lots of garlic and the smell it brings
#42....A good conversation with my mom
#43....Huntington Gardens and the nature all around...perfect PEACE
#44....Girls making Granola and all enjoying the smell all day long
#45....Snuggling up with K and E enjoying another chapter of Little Women
#46....The first blossoms in the orchard
#47....Going to sleep with the sound of rain pattering on the roof and windows
#48....The words of Isaiah 55
#49....Mary asking for a back-rub
#50....Pasta with home-made sauce